Following a bitter divorce, you may have to brace yourself for hostile treatment from both your ex and kids. How will you cope?
The Hostile Ex
Ask any divorce lawyer in Colorado Springs or other cities, and they’ll agree that a hostile ex is a major roadblock in handling legal proceedings smoothly and maturely. Hostility keeps you from communicating well and agreeing with each other, for your own and the children’s sakes, and it’s imperative that one of you put his/her foot down to try and iron everything out.
Tips for handling divorce cite respect, tolerance, understanding and effective communication as the keys to working civilly with the ex. If you feel that you aren’t over your anger with them yet, you may want to disperse the anger first, and take a businesslike approach to this extremely personal matter. See this as a legal process more than anything else if it helps you handle the situation more objectively.
When the personal issues begin to surface as you deal with custody and other legal problems, then try to seek the help of lawyers to mediate between the two of you.
The Hostile Kids
If your hostile ex meddles with your visitation rights and keeps you from spending time with the kids, your children may develop hard feelings towards you. After a certain amount of time, they may end up not wanting to see you at all, or displaying so much hate whenever they do see you. These are signs of parental alienation.
When this happens, remember that hatred isn’t natural to children and that it takes time for them to understand such a difficult situation. Once you get to spend time with them, make an effort to rekindle your bond. Do the things you used to enjoy, to show them that you remember them.
When they start to open up, you can begin explaining, in their terms, of course, why your current situation is the way it is. Don’t get tired of breaking the ice and tugging some heartstrings; always make an effort for the love of your kids.
Dealing with a hostile ex and equally hostile kids is no easy feat. It takes a lot of understanding and time. See it through, especially for the children.