When Your Husband Says, “Honey, I’m Gay.”


DivorceYou’ve had your suspicions. You’ve noticed how secretive and moody your husband has become. He does not want anything to do with you and the intimacy of your marriage is just gone. One day, your world just turns upside down when he reveals the truth:

“Honey, I’m gay.”

The Emotional Trauma

When your spouse ends the marriage, coming to terms with the ordeal is difficult. But when the marriage is over because your spouse is gay, there is another level of emotions and thoughts to deal with.

If he leaves you for another woman it is excruciating, but if he chooses another man you cannot help but wonder where you had been lacking. Also, realizing that you do not know the person you married can be devastating. There is a whirlwind of sentiments, such as betrayal, rage, hurt, and self-doubt.

In some cases, couples try to make the marriage work by seeking counselling. For others, on the other hand, divorce is the best option. Besides, if he is truly gay, there is no point in hoping that would change.

Homosexuality as Grounds for Divorce

For Matthewsfamilylawyers.com, a legal expert in Denver, the divorce process varies per couple and court ruling. The judicial proceeding of terminating a marriage often involves common grounds, which include abandonment, cruelty to spouse, and adultery.

Homosexuality plays as grounds with these three factors. In terms of adultery, some courts consider your spouse’s extramarital homosexuality equates to adultery, which qualifies the divorce. Courts do not focus on whether the relations were heterosexual or not; any relation outside of marriage falls under adultery.

Your husband’s activities may also fall under constructive abandonment. In this setting, the courts consider homosexual acts justify the scorned spouse’s leaving when living together is impossible. Thus, the physical separation falls under abandonment, which is a valid ground for divorce.

What’s Next?

With any divorce proceeding, it is important that you seek legal help. This helps you avoid the legal blunders you might face if you do it alone. An experienced family law attorney can help you through the process and ensure you make the most out of it.

Afterwards, seek counselling for yourself and your children. Processing the events with a professional makes a smoother transition possible, and the next step towards recovery clearer.

Your ex-husband’s orientation and decision is not your fault. What matters most is that you move forwards and love yourself, even if he loves another man.